The Rollercoaster Ride Continues

Well, after another meltdown at work, Mike and I worked out a deal where I take a week off of work without pay and try to get things together. I wanted to get a family meeting and work out some kind of schedule so that I could help out with the care of the Gator and still be able to work and keep my house. Well, we got together and it was productive and I was able to get back to Mike and tell him what we worked out and that it shouldn't affect my schedule with them and I would still be able to take care of myself. I would use this week to get my house completely clean so that I would have a nice tidy sanctuary to come to after a tough day at work or Gator tending. Sounds like we worked it all out, right? Well, the Gator just kept going downhill, so we spent till 2:00 am in the ER. We think things might actually work out...then they screw up and then send her to the ICU that she was in 6 years ago. But a lot has changed since then and perhaps things will be better this time. Chopper is staying with me...which is good so that she doesn't have to face going to the house without the Gator. Sometimes I think she will pull out of it and other times I just can't believe she could possibly survive this.

1. I don't have to worry about work for this week and I can concentrate on my housework and still be able to visit the hospital

2. Got all the curtains washed and ironed in the living room, dining room and sun room

3. Spencer got the classes that he wanted this semester

4. Things seem to be under control at the hospital for the time being

Making some progress

Yesterday I completely cleaned the sun room...I even washed and ironed the curtains...I also did the curtains in the living room...there mustv'e been a ton of dust onf those valances...they look so clean and fresh now. I wouldv'e put them back up, but I promised Chopper I would spend the evening with the Gator to give her a break... She is so labor intensive and hard to take care of! She is so exhausting and I was only there for a few hours...poor Chopper. I don't think she is going to get better. I think she may last a long time, but it will be a matter of keeping her as healthy as possible and as comfortable as possible. But it may be too big a job for us to handle. Chopper is probably already on the road to losing her job. But if teh Gator went into assisted living, she would probably give up altogether and quickly fade away...and nursing homes make you sign over all yoyur money and assets and that is just too much money to lose. Almost every minute that I am not at B & N I am either cleaning or helping with the Gator. And now Chase wants me to go to the B & N downtown to see how they do their journal wall...on my day off...so I lose more time.

Busy but productive day

Well, I did it! All the christmas stuff is away! Now on to the cleaning. But it won't be quite as speedy as I would like. I am going to spend the evening In Burlington tomorrow so that Chopper can get some work done. I am worried about her and her career. They claim to put family first, but at CHOP they don't seem very understanding. I am torn...I really do love my job, but I love Chopper,too and I want help her and my mom. The home health aid is nice, but she is burning through their money. I am going to relax for the rest of this evening and play with Pinkie and read for awhile...and then get a good nights sleep. Daddy and I had a nice dinner and a few laughs while we watched tv and I took advantage of his being home to help me set up the tv in the kitchen with the converter to HD that we have had for months. Now we can watch tv in the kitchen again. So we got a lot done today...and I intend to get a lot done tomorrow! Who knows when I will have two days off in a row again.

1. The christmas stuff is away

2. I got some chores done

3. I don't have to go to work tomorrow

4. Got a really funny thank you from Spencer's roommate

5. We have tv in the kitchen again

Rainy Sunday

Well, my motto of Keep calm, stay dry and carry on, held me in good stead at work today. We were short handed yet busy and we are expecting a visit from the district manager which means everything has to look perfect. And tomorrow will be worse because that is when the real work will be done and I have o get up extra early the next day to go to Burlington to help take care of my mother till the home health care lady gets there at 10 am. Then I will come home and try to do more packing of the xmas stuff. I am off Wed, too, and I hope to kick some organizing ass then. I was supposed to take my mother for a doc appt, but it would be to hard to transport her. She really needs to try to help herself. I am worried about Chopper's future and her career. She is getting bogged down taking care of my mother and it just isn't right. My mother needs to let her go.

I struggle to come up with five good things to cap off my blogs. It does make me feel better though.

1. I sold ten memberships today

2. I stayed calm and cool at work and I was less stressed

3. I found out that Spencer's spring break is long (makes up for the short xmas break)

4. I got the new washer and it fit through the doorway easily

5. One of the manager's that I don't like to work with is off this week

Four closes in a row coming up

Yup, I am looking at four closes in a row, but my day off was pretty productive. Packed up more Xmas stuff, went to the bank for the Gator, got a nice shower and changed my bedclothes...fired off another letter to the Fish and now I have a minute to play on pinkie. Had to stay over in Burlington last night. Chopper had a meltdown again. I don't like to go there, but i know that Chopper needs a break now and then and if I can help, I will. I wonder sometimes if we are able to properly care for the Gator or are we doing more harm than good. I suppose she would completely shut down if we put her in an assisted care facility. Mike can't understand why someone as intelligent as my mom doesn't seem to understand that she needs to help herself to get better, but even my cousin said that old people tend to do that: stop taking nourishment of fluids. Maybe its natures way of bringing an end to life. But Chopper will not let her go. We will fight as hard as we can until her quality of life is really bad. Even though ours sucks right now. Anyway, I know that I will feel much better when I get my house in order. I have two days off in a row next week and though I have to watch the Gator early on Tuesday but I should get home by noon and start more packing. and I will have some time in the mornings before work to do some stuff.

1. My tooth stopped hurting

2. Helped Chopper and the gator last night

3. Made some headway with the Xmas Packing

4. Got a nice letter from the fish yesterday

5. Am closing with Danielle tomorrow

Spencer, if you read these posts, please leave a comment so that I know

Not such a bad Tuesday

Went to work all keyed up about the music count, but the plano didn't change and there were no additions, so it was easy to do...it still took longer bthan they allow for it. The rest of the day went well. I lioke when I don't have to close. And next week I am off Tuesday...so I don't have to worry about the music count. Got more laundry done, but not too much progress on the xmas decorations. I will have two days off in a row next week and I want to maximise my time. I still have to clean after it is all put away...The kitchen and bathroom as well as my room and Spencer's room. AHHHH!!!!. Anyway, my mother is still making things hard for Chopper and I worry about her. I think my mother is clinging to her and it isn't good for Choppper. Or any of us. I don't know what to do to make it better. There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day. Oh, well.

1. The music count went easily today!

2. I didn't have to close

3. I got an appt. right away yesterday for my tooth, even if it didn't cure it

4. I have a decent schedule next week so I may be able to get a lot done

5. I am going to go to bed early so I have more energy tomorrow so I can get more done when I get home from work

Spencer is back at Yale

Well, he's gone. I miss him, but it isn't as bad as the first time he left. Probably because we aren't going to try to breal off communications like we did the first time. I can't wait to skype with him on my net book. I am trying to give him advice on improving his social life, but I am not so hot at it myself. This pain in my jaw is really starting to get on my nerves and frankly it scares me a little. Every day of my life I am in pain somewhere or other, but I usually know what it is. Sore knee? I was standing too long. Same goes for the feet. Fingers ache? It's the arthritis or I drank something with sodium benzoate. But this jaw thing has me stumped. I mean the dentist couldn't find anything and he really looked. Now I have to run around to different doctors and try to figure out how to stop the pain. And get all the Xmas decorations down. And do the laundry. And go to work. And help Chopper with the Gator. Anyway...that is what is on my mind now...I am waiting for the advil to kick in so that I can go to bed.

1. At least I have a way to relieve the pain

2. The trip up and back from Yale was nice and smooth

3. We had a few laughs at breakfast and lunch and generally had a nice time together

4. No "steps back" for the Gator today

5. Had a nice shower and managed to do a few chores after we got back from taking Spencer back to Yale

So far 2010 hasn't been so hot

I am stressed out as usual over the mess in the house and the daunting task facing me in getting all the xmas decorations down and stashed away. I am also worried about my poor sister who is stuck taking care of my mom. My mother is a very selfish person who isn't really exerting any effort to help herself get better and is putting all the burden on Chopper. She has a home health care lady there to help mher, but she will waity for Chopper to come home to things for her. My tooth (jaw) is still hurting. The advil helps, but I hate depending on it so. Work hasn't been too bad because I have a new attitude...I don't sweat the small stuff and it seems to be working for me. I am getting done what I need to get done. I just wish my aches and pains would go away. I will miss Spencer but I would rather he be in a more stimulating environment at Yale than here either stuck up in his room or stuck visiting my mom. And he will get a decent meal up there, too. I feel bad that I didn't cook one meal for him in the three weeks he was home. Mom~fail. I wanted to write a letter to Spencer so that he would have a letter waiting for him when he got back, but my thumb has split open because it is so dry and it hurts to write. But that won't stop me. I love to write to him and I know he likes to get letters. I better get to bed.

1. The pain in my tooth (jaw) is a little better and can be controlled by advil

2. Work was pleasant

3. The snow, if it happens, should not be too bad or interfere too much with our taking Spencer back to Yale

4. I don't have to close tomorrow

• 5. Spencer helped me with some chores

Tuesday, bloody tuesday

Well, another music count done and Mike was supposed to show us how to do it so that it goes faster....I don't think we shaved off much time, but I will find out next Tuesday because I do the music count. My jaw is still killing me and i was hoping that the dentist would find out what was wrong and fix it but he doesn't know what is casing the pain either....so I have to keep suffering. We had a nice dinner at the Olive Garden and then we stopped by to visit Mom mom Katz. We had a pleasant time and now I'm home waiting for Spencer to e mail me a copy of his report. Then I will read awhile and go to bed...I close the next two nights.

1. Got a lot accomplished at work today

2. Had a nice dinner at the Olive Garden with Spencer and Mike

3. Had a nice visit with Mom Mom Katz

4. My cold is getting better

5. My mom got her nutritional drink today and hopefully that will help her

Already missed a day

I was going to try to write every day, but already I missed yesterday. But by the time we got back from Burlington, I was too tired to fire up Pinkie and post. But I got a reprieve from work today, so I will take advantage of the unexpected time and write.

If there is one thing I hate to do and that is to call out sick...but this time the boss took one look at me, deemed me contagious and sent me home. I didn't protest too much. I still feel pretty crappy and the more time I can spend with Spencer the better. Even though he spends most of his time in his room, at least I know he is in the house and I can talk to him if I feel like it.

The holidays are winding down and now the daunting task of finding a place for all the new stuff begins. And then putting all the decorations away. I am not going to rush it, but I can't wait till things are back to normal. Neat and normal. I am going to take advantage of the empty rooms before I bring back the pictures and plants and things to clean stuff really well.

Lets get back to the 5 good list.

1. I don't have to work today after all

2. Mike is going to his sister's tonight so I have Spencer all to myself

3. I am probably starting to get over this cold.

4. I have a good book to read and a good old movie on tv

5. It is really cold outside and I am inside where it is warm

Happy New Year (not)

Well, this year isn't starting out so hot. I have a terrible cold...my tooth hurts and my mother is sick with no sign of recovery. Christmas sucked and Spencer is having a crappy holiday. He is probably counting the days to when he can go back to Yale. I was supposed to close tonight but I feel too crappy. And my voice is shot, which makes it hard to talk to customers. But Spencer got me this great little netbook for Xmas and now I should be able to keep up with my new year's resolution to keep up with my blog. He had it all set up and ready to rock on Christmas morning. He and Mike went to the Mummer's Parade. It will give them some bonding time and I can relax and try to get better. I don't go back to work till Sunday and if this cold follows its usual course, I should be ok by Sunday. And i close with one of my favorite managers, so that is good. Chopper has me worried about my toothache...she says it is probably abscessed and that I have to see a dentist immediately. Like I have time for that...I hope I can hold out with the pain till my regular checkup in February. Also, Spencer may have to have his wisdom teeth out. That will be addressed in the summer, but I don't know if I can stand to see him in that kind of pain. Happy 2010. I will still try to find 5 happy thoughts or things that happened this day.

1. I have this wonderful netbook!

2. I had to call out sick and I spoke to the best manager that I could have.

3. Spencer and Mike went down to see the parade, so I don't feel as bad about causing everyone to have a miserable New Year.

4. I did some ironing already today, so that I can sit back guilt free and watch the Mummers and read a book

5. Even thoguh the official grades aren't in, it looks like Spencer did well his first semester at Yale!